Who needs a Roomba? You know, those self-propelled vacuuming machines animals like to ride on so much (according to youtube). The Swiffer has also been rendered obsolete.
Just cover the baby in felt (or leftover Swiffer cloths) and watch him go.
To activate the turbo setting, put baby in the same room as a cat. Block all exits.
Fine print: In case of spit-up, some floor washing may still be necessary in baby’s wake.
Hmmm…My baby is kind of like a water gun filled with sour milk and set to spray at random. Maybe I’m stuck with manual washing methods after all.